Wednesday, October 13, 2004

14.4-eva

"HURRY, Hurry, hurry... Ladies and gents, boys and girls, gather 'round and see the SLOWest INTernet conNECtion IN THE World!!!"

That's right, kids, with the hookup of my final household utility, I'm now surfing the web via phoneline at the blistering speed of 14.4 BITS PER SECOND (second second second ....) My trusty Packard Bell Legend 105CD is at it again, chugging along in the slow lane of the internet highway, exhaust smoking, turn signal blinking for the last 20 miles... this things been around so long that it's a true "legend" in the sense that most people believe it never really existed. Historians theorize that it's a myth passed down through the ages. The elderly regale their grandchildren with fables of the "Fourteen-Four".

Actually, the B.C. PC is quite lucid for it's age, which is why I have yet to purchase a new computer. I didn't realize how old it really is until I tried to access the tech support website that I still have bookmarked in Netscape...


http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/2439/pb.htm

Here's the message that they left for the last few operating owners...



This site is shutting down!: This site mostly pertained to the American
division of Packard Bell in the late 1990's which is now defunct. Packard Bell
is does not exist in the U.S. now and there is no way to get technical support
for their hardware and software

Good thing my fan belts are still good, cause replacement parts would be hard to come by. I must say I keep the old 'Gendy in pretty good condition. Here's a picture of it from just a few months ago...




The trick is using Pledge on the wooden casing at least twice a year. The keyboard is a series of pedals you operate with your feet. It is QWERTY, though... and stinky.

In other news, I head to the Emmy's in STL this weekend, so I gotta find a tux. I'm going with the full old-fashioned look; suit, cane, top hat, and polio.

See you in Saint Louie!


*authentic document

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