Boo

When the waning moon turns to
blood,
Soon shall that color the rivers
flood.
And when darkness fills the morning
sky,
Soon all life on earth shall
die.
For the Four Horsemen will have
come,
Bring death to most... life to
some.
These are the words of the god you
praise,
And thus shall begin
The end of days...

- Jean de Foret

------------------------------------

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

------------------------------------

Hot Button

I've just discovered something... something that's been hidden from me since the day I was born...

I...

...am not a red head. It's "really more strawberry blonde", reads the doctor's handwritten medical record of my physical appearance. bastard.

Also, I was cloned. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of me throughout time and space. I've been able to track down some of my me's...

1805 - Farmington Selectman

http://www.rootsweb.com/~mefrankl/farmselect.htm

1864 - Black Naval Serviceman


http://www.itd.nps.gov/cwss/navydetail.cfm?id_no=Woo0061

1996 - Ham-radio Operator


http://www.funhouse.com/jfw/

but don't make him angry... you wouldn't like him when he's angry...



I've also been a Norfolk Police Chief, software encoding genius, and a student at Mary C. House elementary... wait, ok, I was the student at Mary C. House, but the other stuff was a clone or two.

They actually tried to make a movie about us once...



But I don't like pizza.

-------------------------------------------------------

"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a
violent psychopath who knows where you live." -- John F.Woods

Via con Perdios

Freedumb To Vote

Let me explain why I'm not going to vote...

"What did he say? Not vote?"

"I think he said he's not going to vote!"

"NOT VOTE?! You can't do that!"

"HEY MOB! THIS GUY'S NOT GONNA VOTE!"

"hldfitbv a "

"That's right, webdinger! He's not going to VOTE!"

"xa!!! @s"

"You're right, webby! He's probably Communist!"

"COMMUNIST?!?! KILL HIM!!!"

Well, actually I'm Kucinichist, but that's not the point... the bombardment of deafening, partisan rhetoric spewing everywhere from senior political advisers to ignorant Hollywood moneywhores has desensitized me to the point that Azy and Indah, the Des Moines orangutans, sound like a great independant ticket.

Don't get me wrong, I've tried to educate myself by researching the candidates...

But when almost EVERYone is harboring a political vendetta, hidden or otherwise, reasearch seems pointless. And from the factual information I have scrounged up, nothing has convinced me that one choice is better than the other.

This is also why I'm going back to 1846...

So much easier; no 527s... no Fox News... no Drew Barrymore... Just voting, nice hats, and small pox. And the ballots were pretty.

Good luck to you in November! I'll be holding my own election for tastiest lager. Most bottlecaps wins!!!

------------------------------------------

Nobody pretends that democracy is perfect or at all wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time. (Winston Churchill, November 11, 1947)

----------------------------------

HOLY CRAP!!!

I LOST TO PACINO!!!

----------------------------------------

14.4-eva

"HURRY, Hurry, hurry... Ladies and gents, boys and girls, gather 'round and see the SLOWest INTernet conNECtion IN THE World!!!"

That's right, kids, with the hookup of my final household utility, I'm now surfing the web via phoneline at the blistering speed of 14.4 BITS PER SECOND (second second second ....) My trusty Packard Bell Legend 105CD is at it again, chugging along in the slow lane of the internet highway, exhaust smoking, turn signal blinking for the last 20 miles... this things been around so long that it's a true "legend" in the sense that most people believe it never really existed. Historians theorize that it's a myth passed down through the ages. The elderly regale their grandchildren with fables of the "Fourteen-Four".

Actually, the B.C. PC is quite lucid for it's age, which is why I have yet to purchase a new computer. I didn't realize how old it really is until I tried to access the tech support website that I still have bookmarked in Netscape...

http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/2439/pb.htm

Here's the message that they left for the last few operating owners...

This site is shutting down!: This site mostly pertained to the American
division of Packard Bell in the late 1990's which is now defunct. Packard Bell
is does not exist in the U.S. now and there is no way to get technical support
for their hardware and software

Good thing my fan belts are still good, cause replacement parts would be hard to come by. I must say I keep the old 'Gendy in pretty good condition. Here's a picture of it from just a few months ago...




The trick is using Pledge on the wooden casing at least twice a year. The keyboard is a series of pedals you operate with your feet. It is QWERTY, though... and stinky.

In other news, I head to the Emmy's in STL this weekend, so I gotta find a tux. I'm going with the full old-fashioned look; suit, cane, top hat, and polio.

See you in Saint Louie!


*authentic document

-------------------------------

hold me closer, tony danza

Happy Father's Day-oh, oh-ay

...............................................

free beer is KO with me

Best thing about my new place: a bar less than a block away... sorry liver, maybe next move.

So I was there last night, tossin back a few, watching STL kill the 49ers. Then this deaf lady starts buying me drinks... then she starts buying people next to me drinks... then drinks for EVERYONE who's belly-up to the bar. Turns out she's the cousin of Olympic Gold Medalist, Ali-beating, HEAVyweightCHAMpionoftheWOOOOORLD.... SMOKin Joe FRAzier (crowd going wild).



Apparently, the cousins of boxing stars like to "hang" here in the Burg. At first I thought she might be someone elses cousin...



But she wasn't white, scrawny, or an eminent Boston psychiatrist, so I think she meant the boxer.

Anyway, it was a fun evening. And after seven or eight or eiven beers, I stumbed 35 feet, went in my apartment, and passed out on the bed.

Next time: My wacky adventures with the mischievous Oscar de la Hoya. Hoya'n to your hats! It might oscare you!

It hurts when I pun...

the burgs

i live next to the gingerbread man. really. when i get a digital cam, i'll prove it.

drove straight through, 16 hours, then drove around Harrisburg 8 hours getting lost on purpose to teach myself the streets. i think the engineer who designed this place sat down at his drawing board, threw up spaghetti, and said "thats it! Harrisburg!"

sleep nopw